A dear friend asked, "Why not do the tummy tuck also or instead?" I told her I have accepted the fact that I am going to have a flabby gut and thighs. I think of them as badges of honor. But I can remember wanting boobs since I was a child; when I used to put L'eggs Eggs in my shirt. I was lopsided, but who cares?! I had boobs!
In high school, I was intimidated by Tiffany Johnson (not her real name) with her perky perfect C-cup. Helps that she was perky perfect, too. All the guys wanted to be her boyfriend and dang it, I did, too! She was cute and SWEET and had a nice rack. There was not a bitch bone in her body.
Later, when working for a Sheriff's Department, assigned to a patrol station, the uniform was very masculine. Only magnified my lack of breasts. Then I am assigned to the dispatch center. The Viper Pit as I like to call it. (Or a Shark Tank. Throw in some chum (a male) and watch the frenzy!) And there were a few endowed women and the queen bee was an enhanced DD. (Luckily, she took me under her wing and I became golden, untouchable. Until I fell from her grace....oh well. Women are so fickle).
And as you dear readers have noticed (so blatantly, as I carry on about it), I have been obsessed with my boobs. I started watching Before & After, Plastic Surgery, focusing mainly on breasts, of course. I would jot down the name of surgeons and Google them like mad. There was a Surgeon in "the Marina" (Marina Del Rey) that invented the "Laser Bra." Instead of cutting away tissue, he keeps it intact to reinforce the lift. I cancelled my consult with his office. Too far to drive, especially for follow-ups, and it just sounded way too expensive.
I found someone closer and scheduled a consult with his office. I didn't have much information on this guy other than we share the same religion.
After some more Googling, I found another surgeon and called to make an appointment. When I told the patient coordinator that I was shopping around, she was very adamant about finding a PLASTIC surgeon and not a COSMETIC surgeon. Verify the surgeons credentials! Don't do it for price, you get what you pay for! And on and on....You think I would have been intimidated or offended by her rant, but I was intrigued and ended cancelling the other consult and scheduled my surgery with her surgeon.
I tell you, the consult was unnerving! Not the risks, not the spiel the nurse gave me about capsulation, not the complications, but the examination. It was the exam. I was more comfortable at my PAP!! Never have I had a doctor pay so much attention to my chest nor have a nurse watch expectanly. He measured me from center collar bone to each nipple. Then he lifted my breast, stretching my nipple to my ear to measure underneath. Then he repeated the measurment because his first reading was off! He asked to see the rest of me (since he read that I lost 160 pounds on my chart) and advised I needed a trunk lift (full body lift) and a thigh reduction. (yeah, I know that, Captain of the Understatement!)
One, I can't afford all that surgery.
Two, pain would be immense.
Three, the scars would be UGLY!
And as I mentioned earlier, I have accepted my gelatinous super power. Besides, I can cover it with clothing or support devices. And husband doesn't seem to mind the excess skin. He still gets laid!
However, I did run into a snag with Hubby. He is upset about the cost and the extra loan and the extra debt we are acquiring. I justify it as the Harley Davidson he bought in 1997.
So, in a little over a week, I will be expecting twins. I will have to come up with names.
Oh, and IF I ever have any work done below the waist, it would be lipo on my ankles to get rid of my cankles!
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