reconnected

With my 20th reunion speeding steadily towards me, I have made connections with former classmates. And not the people I hung out with! When they found out I wasn't going attend my reunion, one of them called me and bitched me out for an hour. I was convinced after 20 minutes, but I continued to let her bitch at me, because it was so funny. I KNOW I am going to have a good time, hanging out with her alone!

Anyway, after the course of our conversations, my new rekindled friend, Lisa, shared that she has weight loss surgery 10 years ago. The surgery was still in it's adolescent years and has done a number on her and her body. I told her that I was finally getting my body reconfigured, she was very excited for me and gave me tips and advice and is whole-heartedly behind me. A shame that 1000 miles separate us, or we could be "diet-buddies." But I will settle for phone calls and email.

Lisa is getting a surgery revision and hopefully her body's system will get back to normal and she can lead a semi-normal life. (Neither she or I will ever have a normal life....we're too crazy for that!)

So, THANK YOU Lisa for sharing your story and for being an inspiration to me.

PRE OP

The doctor's office scheduled me for my Pre-Op testing for July 10.

I will have a chest X-ray, an upper GI, blood work, pregnancy test and an EKG. Sounds like my day will be full.

Big Medicine

Watched the latest episode. Had a Hispanic guy on there, a couple of years and over 300 pounds out of surgery. He said something profound......"As a big person, you got to realize you got to murder your best friend."

I was floored. I have heard people say, "give up," "got rid of" or "lose" their best friend (FOOD), but never "murder." That hit home. I can picture that.

I am so ready to do this.....I am tired of being tired. Worn out. Out of breath. Excessive sweating. Plantar faciitis. Ill-fitting clothes. But mainly the lack of energy and tiring out too easily.

My new birthday

My surgery date is July 23

It's ON!

I called the WLS Center today and actually got a human instead of vmail. I asked her the status of my insurance and she told me I was approved since June 12th and didn't I hear anything yet....

UH, NO! That is why I am calling! She (the adjustor) said she forwarded my stuff to the next person in line and that person (the scheduler) was to call me and tell my me status and that I am going to get a surgery date. They will notify me within 5-10 business days when my Date is going to be. If I don't hear from the scheduler by June 27th, I am to contact the adjustor to see what the heck is going on.

WOO!

These are a few of my favorite things!

"If you suffer from frequent headaches, you might want to take a closer look at what you eat, says a new study. Experts from the American Dietetic Association found that many sufferers weren't making the connection between common headache-triggering foods — like chocolate, red wine, beer , aged cheese, nuts, coffee, tea, apple juice, and blackberries — and their throbbing noggin. All of these foods contain one or both of the skull-hammering chemicals called tyramine and tannins.
Luckily, the problem is easily solved, the experts say. Just eliminate these foods from your diet for two weeks. If they're the culprits, your headaches should clear. If not, make an appointment with your doctor to examine other possible factors and what steps you can take to feel better."

I get headaches from any type of alcohol! lol

Speaking of chocolate, Haagen-daz has a limited edition flavor, Belgian Chocolate. OMG! Chocolate ice cream with Belgain chocolate flakes throughout? How will I live without this after my surgery!?

"Why, thank you!"

I was leaving my son's doctor's office and the doc asks me, "Are you losing weight?"

I look at him in astonishment. WTF? I think to myself.

"It looks good," he complimented.

"Thank you!" was all I could muster. There really was no sense in telling him that I am gaining weight rather than losing. But I grumbled to myself nonetheless.

Haven't heard from the WLS center regarding approval for surgery. I'm gonna call them after the weekend and bug them everyday until I get an answer.

Yes, I am paying attention

I am really taking notice of my fullness, lately. For the last few days, I have noticed when I get full and will stop eating.

Or not.

But I noticed the full feeling.

This is Halloween, this is halloween. Halloween, Halloween!

These are some costumes I am looking at to wear this year at Disney's California Adventure Spooktacular Halloween Treat. Notice the dark theme going on here.

Of course, this is all dependent on my having the surgery anytime soon. Or I will be wearing a black t-shirt and black knit pants.

work it! work it!

Did some more exercise today. I really like this Fit & Lite by Denise Austin. I can't keep up with her (yet), but I do sweat, pant and feel better. It is a combo of yoga, pilates and light cardio.

Yesterday my thighs were sore from the little bit of exercise I did on Tuesday!

My food journal is up and running. You can access it by clicking the top right link.

ooh feel the burn

I did something extraordinary today. I exercised. Oh! I know! I can't believe it myself!

After I sent my boy on his merry way to school, I plopped my big fat ass down and clicked on the TV. I watched the programs I didn't have time for last night. After watching three people try to kill themselves with food I quickly changed the channel to the Denise Austin's Fit and Lite program that recorded this morning. I could barely keep up, but I did my best. I was out of breath and sweaty and looked completely ridiculous, but I DID IT! I can't believe how 15-20 minutes helped my attitude today.

MMMM Hmmm!

I was purging in fat shows that I TiVo'ed over the weekend.....

On Big Medicine there was a cute girl named Charlisa. I just loved her attitude and the self-confidence the WLS gave her. I also liked one of her comments.... "(When someone says), 'Oh, it's wonderful being fat. There's nothing wrong.'" Charlisa gets a "shut up, Asshole" look on her face. "That is a cover-up. There is a lot wrong with it. And it's not fun, it's not comfortable, it's not cute. None of the above."

On another program, I learned the human body has approx. 40 billion fat cells. When the body gets obese, the fat cells multiply to 100 billion. AND THEY NEVER GO AWAY. So, you get these crazy people like me who eat, diet, eat, diet, diet, eat, eat, eat, diet, eat, diet, pregnant, eat, diet, pregnant, eat, eat, and diet they make these fat cells that want to be noticed and want to be filled and happy and make more friends, because the more the merrier.....Right?

I have noticed that once I hit a particular weight, no matter what I do to try and lose, my body wants that fat back. And I don't mind helping it out, apparently. I was at my heaviest when I was pregnant with my daughter (six years ago). I am back at that weight and then some!

Then I had job troubles. I tend to put everything on the back burner and feel sorry for myself. I quit doing Weight Watchers CORE program and comforted myself with food.

Now I am pending permission for this surgery and everything is on the back burner again and I find solace in food. Oh the IRONY

It has nothing to do with willpower. It is all about getting the fix, flipping the switch, getting the high and the comfort and the love from food. Food doesn't talk back, it doesn't hurt your feelings, it brings a smile to your face and sometimes brings an almost orgasmic feeling. It doesn't lie. It is pretty and tastes good. It feels wonderful to chew (if you actually take the time). It feels good gliding down your gullet into your overstretched stomach. It doesn't matter if it is sweet or savory, crisp or velvety, hot or cold.....it feels good. It is my best friend. It is always there in my time of need.

I have quit smoking, quit drinking coffee and quit drinking soda. But I have not quit eating. Kinda hard when I have to eat to survive. I manage to eat more than I need to because it feels good and I WANT to be full.

When I first quit smoking, I had to go visit my in-laws. Being around my MIL is bad enough. But the evils wives of my husband's brothers (I still refuse to acknowledge them as sister-in-laws) is more stress than I care to handle. And you wanna know what I was craving most, to alleviate my pain? Not a cigarette....CHOCOLATE. I wanted a pound of See's Candy to ease my uneasiness. Hell, a Hershey bar would have done the trick. I ended up buying a bag of M&M's.

I would love to be put in rehab and have someone cook the food I am supposed to eat, tell me when to eat, and when to exercise. I could do that! But I don't think they have rehab for fat people. Rehab is for sick people with addictions for drugs, alcohol, nicotine, etc.

HEY! I'm addicted to Smack! SUGAR SMACKS!

Are we there, yet?!

I called the insurance coordinator five times, leaving messages inquiring about my status.

She finally returned my phone calls (probably out of exasperation) and left a message on my cell phone (I couldn't get to the damn thing fast enough to answer) stating that only a week has passed since my info was submitted to Blue Cross and it usually takes three (to four) weeks to hear anything. She also said she would call me if she heard anything.

tick tick tick tick tick

Technically, this is Week 2 since I saw the doctor for the one-on-one. If I don't hear anything by June 15th (over four weeks) I will start my barrage of phone calls again :o)