It has been almost a year to the day that I last blogged on this....this.....thing.
I just finished reading my brother's blog (EXCELLENT job, lil bro) and felt a little sheepish that I have neglected my babies (this blog and Dark Princess)
Well, to start....I have gained weight. I have gained approximately 50 pounds. I bottomed out at 183 and now have spiked up to 234. Granted, I still have a loss of 100 pounds, I hate how I look and feel from this gain. My tummy has gotten big. My thighs have gotten big. My toes have gotten big!! My boobs have remained the same.... perky and pretty.... lol
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Sunday, October 11, 2009
It's a new dawn, a new day, a new life.....
Remember those size 12 jeans I bragged about seven months ago? Well....... I am a tight 14 now. Instead of losing more weight to fit in the 12's better, I gained. And gained. Part of it is being lazy. Part of it is being bored.
I went back to work after being a stay at home mom for over two years. Economic down-turn and all that. So, instead of sitting at home, keeping myself somewhat occupied, I am at work, staring at a computer screen, that doesn't even get the internet, for eight hours. I am bored STIFF. And since I am bored, I wanna occupy myself. What is more fun than eating?!?
I am still under the ominous number 200. However, if I keep this up, so will my weight go up. I don't want that. I scared of 200.5. I scared of TWO HUNDRED.
On another note.....Sugar still does me in. Especially milk sugars. Milk sugar with more sugar. Ice cream, low-fat to whole milk, alcohol sugars, sometimes fruit sugars....all dump me on the ground. I get nauseous. I get fatigued. And I have a new symptom...BACK PAIN. Is the sugar running for my kidneys and stabbing them with their little evil crystals? LOL I dunno. I just know it is not fun, yet I flirt with that danger all too often.
Overeatting still knocks me in the dirt. I haven't thrown up for a while, but I have come close a couple of times.
All in all, I am still glad I had the surgery and thank my lucky stars that I don't have any major complications. Sure, I get "sick" but I do that to myself. If I eat right (LIKE I SHOULD BE DOING REGARLESS OF SURGERY), then I am fine. Shoot, not just fine, I am FANTASTIC.
I went back to work after being a stay at home mom for over two years. Economic down-turn and all that. So, instead of sitting at home, keeping myself somewhat occupied, I am at work, staring at a computer screen, that doesn't even get the internet, for eight hours. I am bored STIFF. And since I am bored, I wanna occupy myself. What is more fun than eating?!?
I am still under the ominous number 200. However, if I keep this up, so will my weight go up. I don't want that. I scared of 200.5. I scared of TWO HUNDRED.
On another note.....Sugar still does me in. Especially milk sugars. Milk sugar with more sugar. Ice cream, low-fat to whole milk, alcohol sugars, sometimes fruit sugars....all dump me on the ground. I get nauseous. I get fatigued. And I have a new symptom...BACK PAIN. Is the sugar running for my kidneys and stabbing them with their little evil crystals? LOL I dunno. I just know it is not fun, yet I flirt with that danger all too often.
Overeatting still knocks me in the dirt. I haven't thrown up for a while, but I have come close a couple of times.
All in all, I am still glad I had the surgery and thank my lucky stars that I don't have any major complications. Sure, I get "sick" but I do that to myself. If I eat right (LIKE I SHOULD BE DOING REGARLESS OF SURGERY), then I am fine. Shoot, not just fine, I am FANTASTIC.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Lay-zee
Seems I have abandoned my friend here, my blog. Not very kind of me. However, I am happy to report that I have maintained my post surgery weight and have not gained (except for a pound here or there, nothing I can't eliminate by eating right). I have also noticed that my size 14 jeans are a little baggy. To satisfy my curiosity, I went to Old Navy and tried on a pair of size 12 jeans. Not only did I get them on and buttoned, they actually fit! BUT! The stores only carry low rise jeans, not "high" rise (Which to me is normal, but why stand in the way of "Fashion"?). So I had to buy my jeans from Oldnavy.com. I don't mind the low rise. In fact, I wish I COULD wear them. It is just that I have the loose skin and still some fatty tissue, I look like a muffin or mushroom when wearing anything lower than my belly button! "Dunlap" is just not sexy.
Back in October, my husband noticed a woman with a nice ass. He leaned over and whispered to me, "If you had a butt like that, you would be perfect." And he is right. My bottom is not a pert and perky as it used to be (nor as ginormous!) and I would like to do something about it. Hell, I would like to tone my arms, too, so I don't look like Batgirl!!! But do I go to the free 24 hour gym withing WALKING distance? Nope! I sit on the couch and eat Girl Scout cookies and complain about my flabby appearance. I know, I know. Just get off my flat ass and do it! LOL
So, just wanted to update on how awesome I am! LOL
Back in October, my husband noticed a woman with a nice ass. He leaned over and whispered to me, "If you had a butt like that, you would be perfect." And he is right. My bottom is not a pert and perky as it used to be (nor as ginormous!) and I would like to do something about it. Hell, I would like to tone my arms, too, so I don't look like Batgirl!!! But do I go to the free 24 hour gym withing WALKING distance? Nope! I sit on the couch and eat Girl Scout cookies and complain about my flabby appearance. I know, I know. Just get off my flat ass and do it! LOL
So, just wanted to update on how awesome I am! LOL
Thursday, September 11, 2008
"Why, Hello!" - 186.5
Yes, I have my twins....Bobbie and Kitty, I have named them; a play on Booby and Titty. They will be one month old on Sunday.
They pain was not as bad as I anticipated. My gastric bypass hurt much, much more. I had to sleep in a 45 degree angle for five nights. No biggie, just hung out on the couch (my nest). I was not bandaged up. I wore a sport bra, with gauze pads covering my incisions. The incisions were covered by medical grade glue. It appeared I had a dark purple outline of my nipples and the incision going down from my aureoles to my mammary fold. Scary. I was big and swollen and stuck out like Anna Nicole Smith. And my left breast was making armpit-farting noises. If I raised my elbow to shoulder height and lowered it, my breast would make a noise! Apparently it was trapped air in the soft tissue and would disappear very soon. I also gained 15 pounds in two days. I imagine it was all of the swelling. I went from 183 to 198. I was frantic! But the extra fluid has disappeared and I am back to my original weight.
After the first week, I had to start massaging my breasts to prevent capsular contracture. Believe me, I did/do this diligently as I do not want hard, nasty torpedoes sticking off my chest after paying $10K and losing all that weight. I would hate to ruin it after all that hard work! The massage is a blessing and a curse. I get to play with my boobs, but it is not something I can do in public! LOL And I have to massage 5 - 6 times a day until my breasts are soft, then once or twice a day.
Last week, I was doing my massage and I hear/feel a pop. Concerned, I massaged a little more and heard "snap/crackle/pop." Realizing it was on my incision line, I gently pushed on the incision and felt the same strange popping. My dissolving stitches were breaking apart! It was kinda cool. Like bubble wrap! My SIL quipped, "They don't call them fun bags for nothing."
So, I go back to work after having the summer off and I am getting all these complements! Luckily I haven't seen my coworkers in two months, so they don't realize I had a boob job. They think it is just part of my weight loss journey. They were remarking how wonderful I looked. One asked if I was exercising. HA! I should!
And my favorite reaction to my new look.....My mother-in-law. We went to my in laws house. After I hugged my MIL, she stared at my chest as she was talking to us. I could see the wheels spinning in her head..."Those weren't there before, were they?" And she never said a word! I was laughing so hard on the inside. Usually she is pretty blunt about stuff like that.
Cheers
They pain was not as bad as I anticipated. My gastric bypass hurt much, much more. I had to sleep in a 45 degree angle for five nights. No biggie, just hung out on the couch (my nest). I was not bandaged up. I wore a sport bra, with gauze pads covering my incisions. The incisions were covered by medical grade glue. It appeared I had a dark purple outline of my nipples and the incision going down from my aureoles to my mammary fold. Scary. I was big and swollen and stuck out like Anna Nicole Smith. And my left breast was making armpit-farting noises. If I raised my elbow to shoulder height and lowered it, my breast would make a noise! Apparently it was trapped air in the soft tissue and would disappear very soon. I also gained 15 pounds in two days. I imagine it was all of the swelling. I went from 183 to 198. I was frantic! But the extra fluid has disappeared and I am back to my original weight.
After the first week, I had to start massaging my breasts to prevent capsular contracture. Believe me, I did/do this diligently as I do not want hard, nasty torpedoes sticking off my chest after paying $10K and losing all that weight. I would hate to ruin it after all that hard work! The massage is a blessing and a curse. I get to play with my boobs, but it is not something I can do in public! LOL And I have to massage 5 - 6 times a day until my breasts are soft, then once or twice a day.
Last week, I was doing my massage and I hear/feel a pop. Concerned, I massaged a little more and heard "snap/crackle/pop." Realizing it was on my incision line, I gently pushed on the incision and felt the same strange popping. My dissolving stitches were breaking apart! It was kinda cool. Like bubble wrap! My SIL quipped, "They don't call them fun bags for nothing."
So, I go back to work after having the summer off and I am getting all these complements! Luckily I haven't seen my coworkers in two months, so they don't realize I had a boob job. They think it is just part of my weight loss journey. They were remarking how wonderful I looked. One asked if I was exercising. HA! I should!
And my favorite reaction to my new look.....My mother-in-law. We went to my in laws house. After I hugged my MIL, she stared at my chest as she was talking to us. I could see the wheels spinning in her head..."Those weren't there before, were they?" And she never said a word! I was laughing so hard on the inside. Usually she is pretty blunt about stuff like that.
Cheers
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The twins are arriving! - 186
Yes, I am doing it. I am having a Mastopexy and Augmentation on August 14th.
A dear friend asked, "Why not do the tummy tuck also or instead?" I told her I have accepted the fact that I am going to have a flabby gut and thighs. I think of them as badges of honor. But I can remember wanting boobs since I was a child; when I used to put L'eggs Eggs in my shirt. I was lopsided, but who cares?! I had boobs!
In high school, I was intimidated by Tiffany Johnson (not her real name) with her perky perfect C-cup. Helps that she was perky perfect, too. All the guys wanted to be her boyfriend and dang it, I did, too! She was cute and SWEET and had a nice rack. There was not a bitch bone in her body.
Later, when working for a Sheriff's Department, assigned to a patrol station, the uniform was very masculine. Only magnified my lack of breasts. Then I am assigned to the dispatch center. The Viper Pit as I like to call it. (Or a Shark Tank. Throw in some chum (a male) and watch the frenzy!) And there were a few endowed women and the queen bee was an enhanced DD. (Luckily, she took me under her wing and I became golden, untouchable. Until I fell from her grace....oh well. Women are so fickle).
And as you dear readers have noticed (so blatantly, as I carry on about it), I have been obsessed with my boobs. I started watching Before & After, Plastic Surgery, focusing mainly on breasts, of course. I would jot down the name of surgeons and Google them like mad. There was a Surgeon in "the Marina" (Marina Del Rey) that invented the "Laser Bra." Instead of cutting away tissue, he keeps it intact to reinforce the lift. I cancelled my consult with his office. Too far to drive, especially for follow-ups, and it just sounded way too expensive.
I found someone closer and scheduled a consult with his office. I didn't have much information on this guy other than we share the same religion.
A dear friend asked, "Why not do the tummy tuck also or instead?" I told her I have accepted the fact that I am going to have a flabby gut and thighs. I think of them as badges of honor. But I can remember wanting boobs since I was a child; when I used to put L'eggs Eggs in my shirt. I was lopsided, but who cares?! I had boobs!
In high school, I was intimidated by Tiffany Johnson (not her real name) with her perky perfect C-cup. Helps that she was perky perfect, too. All the guys wanted to be her boyfriend and dang it, I did, too! She was cute and SWEET and had a nice rack. There was not a bitch bone in her body.
Later, when working for a Sheriff's Department, assigned to a patrol station, the uniform was very masculine. Only magnified my lack of breasts. Then I am assigned to the dispatch center. The Viper Pit as I like to call it. (Or a Shark Tank. Throw in some chum (a male) and watch the frenzy!) And there were a few endowed women and the queen bee was an enhanced DD. (Luckily, she took me under her wing and I became golden, untouchable. Until I fell from her grace....oh well. Women are so fickle).
And as you dear readers have noticed (so blatantly, as I carry on about it), I have been obsessed with my boobs. I started watching Before & After, Plastic Surgery, focusing mainly on breasts, of course. I would jot down the name of surgeons and Google them like mad. There was a Surgeon in "the Marina" (Marina Del Rey) that invented the "Laser Bra." Instead of cutting away tissue, he keeps it intact to reinforce the lift. I cancelled my consult with his office. Too far to drive, especially for follow-ups, and it just sounded way too expensive.
I found someone closer and scheduled a consult with his office. I didn't have much information on this guy other than we share the same religion.
After some more Googling, I found another surgeon and called to make an appointment. When I told the patient coordinator that I was shopping around, she was very adamant about finding a PLASTIC surgeon and not a COSMETIC surgeon. Verify the surgeons credentials! Don't do it for price, you get what you pay for! And on and on....You think I would have been intimidated or offended by her rant, but I was intrigued and ended cancelling the other consult and scheduled my surgery with her surgeon.
I tell you, the consult was unnerving! Not the risks, not the spiel the nurse gave me about capsulation, not the complications, but the examination. It was the exam. I was more comfortable at my PAP!! Never have I had a doctor pay so much attention to my chest nor have a nurse watch expectanly. He measured me from center collar bone to each nipple. Then he lifted my breast, stretching my nipple to my ear to measure underneath. Then he repeated the measurment because his first reading was off! He asked to see the rest of me (since he read that I lost 160 pounds on my chart) and advised I needed a trunk lift (full body lift) and a thigh reduction. (yeah, I know that, Captain of the Understatement!)
One, I can't afford all that surgery.
Two, pain would be immense.
Three, the scars would be UGLY!
And as I mentioned earlier, I have accepted my gelatinous super power. Besides, I can cover it with clothing or support devices. And husband doesn't seem to mind the excess skin. He still gets laid!
However, I did run into a snag with Hubby. He is upset about the cost and the extra loan and the extra debt we are acquiring. I justify it as the Harley Davidson he bought in 1997.
So, in a little over a week, I will be expecting twins. I will have to come up with names.
Oh, and IF I ever have any work done below the waist, it would be lipo on my ankles to get rid of my cankles!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
ONE YEAR - "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" TO ME! 189 pounds
Today is my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. I have lost almost 160 pounds (157 to be precise) and ten dress sizes. Is that right? I was a 32, now I am a 12.... Jeans, I am a 14. I bought myself a pair of WHITE jeans. Very taboo for FAT people to wear WHITE jeans. Captain Ahab might spear your ass.
It is good to be not-fat. I do not consider myself thin. I DO consider myself not fat. I still have some fat. And LOTS of loose skin. And no boobs. Yes. I harp about my lack of boobs. I have always had issues about my boobs or lack thereof. Check that, I have a whole SUBSCRIPTION (not just issues) about my breast size, color, shape, density, quality. I have ALWAYS HATED them. I just hated them less when I was a D-cup. But it was an ugly D, not a pretty D. I actually have a consult for a boob job first Wednesday in August. Everybody is telling me to wait. Wait until I have lost ALL of my weight. C'mon! This isn't a tummy tuck or liposuction, this is putting sacs into empty wallets and placing the nipple where it is SUPPOSED to be. This has NOTHING to do with my size. Implants will always be implants no matter how much I weigh. I will see what the doctor thinks. My MAIN problem will be affording them. That IS THE ONLY REASON I believe I should wait. Save up for them or something, not because of my weight. Besides, they are mine, I can do what I want to them! Tattoo them both purple!
I have an appointment with my GP for a full physical (minus the PAP, did that last month, thank you very much). Get all my blood-work and stuff done. I keep forgetting to make an appointment with my surgeon! I don't even think I have the number to his office! LOL
I have accomplished much in a year. I have lost weight and found ME again. There is NO WAY I could have done this with Jenny Craig, WW or those other "programs." No fucking way. Those special people who have actually succeeded with those weight loss programs or with pure, sheer will-power, that's just super. Yay for them. But I could NEVER have done this by myself. I had to have my guts rearranged to succeed. I am glad I did it and would do it again. Even with the dumping and the stinky farts and the irregular pooping. I have yet to see what my future holds. Will I become anemic? Will I have a bowel obstruction? Will my intestines spontaneously open up? These are the horrors I have heard about recently. Someone else is going blind? Bring it on. I traded my hypertension, plantar facia, pre-diabetes and all of the other complications with SUPER MORBID obesity for ME! I am ME again. Or a new ME that I didn't know existed. A new lease on life. Like being on the brink of death and backing away from it. People are always commenting on how HAPPY I seem. I AM, DAMMIT! I am super fucking happy that I am not FAT anymore. I ain't sexy, but I am not FAT.
It is good to be not-fat. I do not consider myself thin. I DO consider myself not fat. I still have some fat. And LOTS of loose skin. And no boobs. Yes. I harp about my lack of boobs. I have always had issues about my boobs or lack thereof. Check that, I have a whole SUBSCRIPTION (not just issues) about my breast size, color, shape, density, quality. I have ALWAYS HATED them. I just hated them less when I was a D-cup. But it was an ugly D, not a pretty D. I actually have a consult for a boob job first Wednesday in August. Everybody is telling me to wait. Wait until I have lost ALL of my weight. C'mon! This isn't a tummy tuck or liposuction, this is putting sacs into empty wallets and placing the nipple where it is SUPPOSED to be. This has NOTHING to do with my size. Implants will always be implants no matter how much I weigh. I will see what the doctor thinks. My MAIN problem will be affording them. That IS THE ONLY REASON I believe I should wait. Save up for them or something, not because of my weight. Besides, they are mine, I can do what I want to them! Tattoo them both purple!
I have an appointment with my GP for a full physical (minus the PAP, did that last month, thank you very much). Get all my blood-work and stuff done. I keep forgetting to make an appointment with my surgeon! I don't even think I have the number to his office! LOL
I have accomplished much in a year. I have lost weight and found ME again. There is NO WAY I could have done this with Jenny Craig, WW or those other "programs." No fucking way. Those special people who have actually succeeded with those weight loss programs or with pure, sheer will-power, that's just super. Yay for them. But I could NEVER have done this by myself. I had to have my guts rearranged to succeed. I am glad I did it and would do it again. Even with the dumping and the stinky farts and the irregular pooping. I have yet to see what my future holds. Will I become anemic? Will I have a bowel obstruction? Will my intestines spontaneously open up? These are the horrors I have heard about recently. Someone else is going blind? Bring it on. I traded my hypertension, plantar facia, pre-diabetes and all of the other complications with SUPER MORBID obesity for ME! I am ME again. Or a new ME that I didn't know existed. A new lease on life. Like being on the brink of death and backing away from it. People are always commenting on how HAPPY I seem. I AM, DAMMIT! I am super fucking happy that I am not FAT anymore. I ain't sexy, but I am not FAT.
Friday, July 4, 2008
month twelve - 192.5 Happy Birthday, America!
What an extraordinary holiday. As usual, we spent the day with my favorite in-laws, my husband's cousin, his wife and family. We ate too much, we drank too much and lit fireworks....too much! His wife (hub's cousin's) is so dear to me. One of VERY few of my in-laws that I like to spend time with.
Wehad a lot of fun. The kids frolicked and swam. The men smoked cigars and drank and the women giggled. And believe it or not, I didn't dump or have any (too) bad of a reaction to the Mojitos (YUM!!). In fact, I was taking it slow and taking baby sips. I got tipsy very fast, and tried very hard not to get stupid. But after dinner, in which I got VERY full, I finished the three hunks of watermelon that were marinading in my Mojito. THAT sent me over the edge and I had to retire to a bedroom and sleep it off. About an hour later, I woke up drooling on my hand and feeling a little better. I was able to wish her (cousin's wife) parents a Happy Fourth and a safe journey home. Earlier, her dad, after gushing how wonderful I looked, propositioned me! Said we should divorce our spouses and hook up. I asked if he had any money!! Apparently, I am third in line to be his "next wife" so I don't have much to worry about. Her (cousin's wife) brother was amazed by my new body and asked how long I have been working on it. I didn't share HOW I got my new self, but I just replied it had been about a year. He was completely dumfounded.
Last year......
THIS YEAR......
Wehad a lot of fun. The kids frolicked and swam. The men smoked cigars and drank and the women giggled. And believe it or not, I didn't dump or have any (too) bad of a reaction to the Mojitos (YUM!!). In fact, I was taking it slow and taking baby sips. I got tipsy very fast, and tried very hard not to get stupid. But after dinner, in which I got VERY full, I finished the three hunks of watermelon that were marinading in my Mojito. THAT sent me over the edge and I had to retire to a bedroom and sleep it off. About an hour later, I woke up drooling on my hand and feeling a little better. I was able to wish her (cousin's wife) parents a Happy Fourth and a safe journey home. Earlier, her dad, after gushing how wonderful I looked, propositioned me! Said we should divorce our spouses and hook up. I asked if he had any money!! Apparently, I am third in line to be his "next wife" so I don't have much to worry about. Her (cousin's wife) brother was amazed by my new body and asked how long I have been working on it. I didn't share HOW I got my new self, but I just replied it had been about a year. He was completely dumfounded.
Last year......
THIS YEAR......
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