ONE YEAR - "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" TO ME! 189 pounds

Today is my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. I have lost almost 160 pounds (157 to be precise) and ten dress sizes. Is that right? I was a 32, now I am a 12.... Jeans, I am a 14. I bought myself a pair of WHITE jeans. Very taboo for FAT people to wear WHITE jeans. Captain Ahab might spear your ass.

It is good to be not-fat. I do not consider myself thin. I DO consider myself not fat. I still have some fat. And LOTS of loose skin. And no boobs. Yes. I harp about my lack of boobs. I have always had issues about my boobs or lack thereof. Check that, I have a whole SUBSCRIPTION (not just issues) about my breast size, color, shape, density, quality. I have ALWAYS HATED them. I just hated them less when I was a D-cup. But it was an ugly D, not a pretty D. I actually have a consult for a boob job first Wednesday in August. Everybody is telling me to wait. Wait until I have lost ALL of my weight. C'mon! This isn't a tummy tuck or liposuction, this is putting sacs into empty wallets and placing the nipple where it is SUPPOSED to be. This has NOTHING to do with my size. Implants will always be implants no matter how much I weigh. I will see what the doctor thinks. My MAIN problem will be affording them. That IS THE ONLY REASON I believe I should wait. Save up for them or something, not because of my weight. Besides, they are mine, I can do what I want to them! Tattoo them both purple!

I have an appointment with my GP for a full physical (minus the PAP, did that last month, thank you very much). Get all my blood-work and stuff done. I keep forgetting to make an appointment with my surgeon! I don't even think I have the number to his office! LOL

I have accomplished much in a year. I have lost weight and found ME again. There is NO WAY I could have done this with Jenny Craig, WW or those other "programs." No fucking way. Those special people who have actually succeeded with those weight loss programs or with pure, sheer will-power, that's just super. Yay for them. But I could NEVER have done this by myself. I had to have my guts rearranged to succeed. I am glad I did it and would do it again. Even with the dumping and the stinky farts and the irregular pooping. I have yet to see what my future holds. Will I become anemic? Will I have a bowel obstruction? Will my intestines spontaneously open up? These are the horrors I have heard about recently. Someone else is going blind? Bring it on. I traded my hypertension, plantar facia, pre-diabetes and all of the other complications with SUPER MORBID obesity for ME! I am ME again. Or a new ME that I didn't know existed. A new lease on life. Like being on the brink of death and backing away from it. People are always commenting on how HAPPY I seem. I AM, DAMMIT! I am super fucking happy that I am not FAT anymore. I ain't sexy, but I am not FAT.

month twelve - 192.5 Happy Birthday, America!

What an extraordinary holiday. As usual, we spent the day with my favorite in-laws, my husband's cousin, his wife and family. We ate too much, we drank too much and lit fireworks....too much! His wife (hub's cousin's) is so dear to me. One of VERY few of my in-laws that I like to spend time with.

Wehad a lot of fun. The kids frolicked and swam. The men smoked cigars and drank and the women giggled. And believe it or not, I didn't dump or have any (too) bad of a reaction to the Mojitos (YUM!!). In fact, I was taking it slow and taking baby sips. I got tipsy very fast, and tried very hard not to get stupid. But after dinner, in which I got VERY full, I finished the three hunks of watermelon that were marinading in my Mojito. THAT sent me over the edge and I had to retire to a bedroom and sleep it off. About an hour later, I woke up drooling on my hand and feeling a little better. I was able to wish her (cousin's wife) parents a Happy Fourth and a safe journey home. Earlier, her dad, after gushing how wonderful I looked, propositioned me! Said we should divorce our spouses and hook up. I asked if he had any money!! Apparently, I am third in line to be his "next wife" so I don't have much to worry about. Her (cousin's wife) brother was amazed by my new body and asked how long I have been working on it. I didn't share HOW I got my new self, but I just replied it had been about a year. He was completely dumfounded.

Last year......


THIS YEAR......